“Mmm, it’s done.” Michael drew out the enormous sparkling print, cradling it tenderly. “It’s beautiful, my lord!”
“Don’t show it to me.”
“Don’t…? But my lord, you already know everything here anyway … ?”
“No,” said the Lord sternly, “I conceived of the entire decision tree, every possible thing that could happen, every dichotomy that could ever be collapsed, and every little going-on in my universe. That is more than enough to play God in this creation.”
Michael frowned at the print. “So, you do realize that Eve will still eat the forb- ”
The Lord made an agitated slicing motion and Michael’s print dissolved into stardust. “Michael,” said the Lord patiently, “wait a moment and my children will develop a silly thing called ‘philosophy.’ There will be much debate about ‘free will’ and ‘the problem of evil.’ This will all be immaterial. Omniscient as I am, I will turn a blind eye to the future to which I am not bound. So long as no one pre-observes the outcome of the event, we can agree that the result was reached by free will.”
Michael’s puzzled expression was unchanged. “That seems, with all due respect, vacuous, Lord,” he ventured. “Already we – I – have robbed Eve of free will by observing with certainty that she will be tempted.”
The Lord clicked his tongue and waved his hand dismissively. Michael bowed and disappeared.