William (Down-the-Hall) must be loving this: we’ve collectively messed up the timeline beyond repair. We’re still in the medieval age but already fighting with steam-powered trebuchets and ballistas. We’re currently working on (this is a secret, but I can’t resist documenting it now before things go completely insane) steam-powered moving fortresses. Take all the warm fuzzy feelings you get when seeing Howl’s Moving Castle, invert them and scale them up into full-blown terror. Europe won’t know what hit them.
Oh, and we won’t just have ONE moving castle. There will probably be MANY.
Unspecified fortress in open Europe, morning:
GUARD A: [YAWNS, STRETCHES] Ahhhh, morning, chap. Nobody came to relieve us after all. [CLAPS GUARD B ON CHEST]
GUARD B: [YAWNS, SITS UP] MorniHOLYMOTHER what IS THAT UNGODLY THING?
A smoking castle sits about a mile away in the plains like a dog on its haunches. GUARD A and GUARD B should be visibly panicked. A distant thunk is heard.
GUARD A: Stay here. I’ll sound the alarm.
A shadow is cast over the whole scene.
GUARD B: I don’t WANT to watch this THING.
The scene darkens; the shadow –
GUARD A: Mommy said –
Splinters and rubble everywhere: the shadow was cast by an enormous projectile which has now touched down and completely destroyed the guard tower.
The Moving Castle sitting on the plain:
[TREBUCHET OPERATOR A AND TREBUCHET OPERATOR B EXCHANGE A HIGH-FIVE]
Also, The Great Tripwire of Russia. THAT was a devious idea of Michael / Aneiss.